


Amnesia

by Maliam (orphan_account)



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-14 17:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2199747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Maliam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles just wished he had Amnesia</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *Pokes head into window* Did someone said 5 Seconds Of Summer song Amnesia?

It was around the fifth time Stiles drove by the Ice Cream parlor that day. 

Lydia loved going there. It was her favorite thing about when they would go on their date night. They always went there last. She got pistachio ice cream and Stiles got rocky road. He'd always finish his ice cream first and ended up spooning Lydia's into his mouth. They often talked until the workers kicked them out, swapping ice cream flavored kisses between giggles. Stiles had thought they were fine. 

_"I can't do this, Stiles." Lydia sobbed. Her makeup was smudged down her face from tears. Stiles' hands shook, the flowers in his hand seeming useless._

Stiles called Kira frequently. He never told Kira the real reason why he called almost every day but she didn't need to be told. Kira always managed to slip in a small mention of Lydia, how she was doing. How she was loving the London university, how Jackson was treating her well. How she was fine. Stiles couldn't help but wonder if it was a lie. 

Lydia couldn't be fine. Not when Stiles could barely move out of bed without wanting to cry. It was hard to continue on knowing he couldn't call Lydia, or text her about his day. He wondered if she was lonely despite all the friends she probably had, despite having Jackson.

He wondered if Jackson really took care of her, or maybe if sometimes he said things to hurt her, to keep her close like he used to. Stiles wondered if Lydia would sometimes read old text messages Stiles sent to her like he did with hers every night.

Was it real, even? Was any of it real? How could it have been? Lydia doesn't like guys like him. Broken boys who killed her best friend.

_"Lydia I... I don't --" Stiles stuttered. He didn't understand. They were doing so well, what happened, what did he do?_

Stiles grabbed his phone at a stop light, clicking the button to turn on the screen. His background was still Lydia. She was curled in his bed, sleeping soundly after one of their dates. It was actually the last date they had. His heart felt like it was being stabbed in the heart. Sometimes Stiles thought about changing it. It's been weeks since they broke up. But every time he tried to, he started crying harder than he had before. He couldn't bear it. He'd rather feel the pain in his chest every time than lose her completely. The only thing he had left of her were those pictures. 

Scott was beginning to worry about him - Stiles could tell. He kept attempting to invite Stiles out places, to the movies, to dinner, to his house, to parties. He was beginning to try to hard. Stiles felt sorry for Scott but he just didn't feel like doing anything. Stiles knew he was being a shit friend but it was just so hard.

A horn blared behind him and Stiles stepping on the gas, thinking the light turned green. His eyes lingered on Lydia's picture on his phone before he looked up. 

He looked up too late.

_"I... I just can't. Please don't - don't make this any harder than it has to be." Lydia begged. Her voice was wavering and cracking. Stiles gripped the flowers, crushing the stems in his hand._

The car crashed into the side of his. His body flung to the side, the seat belt pulling him back. His head crashed on the side of his jeep. He could hear screaming outside of his jeep. He could hear clear female screaming.  _Lydia?_

The jeep spun. If the car that hit his was any bigger, it would have flipped his. Stiles face was forced back into the seat when the air bag blew out. The cracking sound must have been his nose. or his wrist. Something broke, that was for sure. 

When everything was still, the air bag was deflated, Stiles could feel blood seeping hid clothes. He was injured, but it didn't hurt. Was this what it felt like for Allison? Was this what dying felt like. The female scream was still ringing through his ears but this time it was calling to him. 

Somewhere in his jeep his phone rang with Amnesia by 5 Seconds Of Summer. Lydia's ringtone. Why was Lydia calling him? Stiles tried to turn but a pain in his abdomen made him stop. He tried to look down to see something protruding from his belly. Oh.

His phone went to voice mail and he could hear Lydia's shaking voice. 

"Stiles? Stiles, answer me. Please, god, answer me. I'm begging you. I - I need to know you're okay." She begged into the phone. Stiles' eyes clouded with tears. 

"Oh, god, Stiles, no, please. Answer me. Tell me I didn't feel what I just did. Tell me you're fine. You have to be fine. Please." Lydia sobbed. 

Stiles tried to move again but it only caused a flush of blood to push from his body. He couldn't move, he couldn't do anything. There were sirens in the distance and he wished to god they would hurry up. 

"Answer me!" Lydia yelled. "Stiles, answer me, fucking damnit! I don't give a fucking crap if your sleeping, answer me! Please! I need you to tell me you're alive! Stiles, Please! I need you!" 

_"Why? Please, just tell me why!" He cried. "I-I can be better, I can be better, I swear. Lydia, I love you! I need you."_

A whimper fell from Stiles lips. Lydia sensed the crash. That was why he was calling. He... he was dying. Stiles was... He was going to die. 

"No, stay." Lydia cried. "Stiles, you have to stay. You survived a fucking Nogitsune, you can survive this. Stay. Stiles, please. I can't lose you, I - I can't." 

A scream ripped itself from Stiles' throat. He had to tell her he loved her. He had to tell her he will always love her. Why couldn't he move. He had to move. Move!  **MOVE!**

"Oh god, no. Stiles, no. I - I can't. I... Stiles, please. I love you. Stay. I love you - I love you so much. I never stopped. I've always loved you. please just stay." 

Her words were getting farther and farther away. The sirens he heard were closer but not close enough. He was going to die. Stiles was going to die. The ambulence wasn't close enough, it wasn't going to make it. Stiles body began to feel light, his vision fading. 

"I..." Stiles murmured with his last breaths. "I'm sorry. I... I love you." 

Stiles' eyelids fluttered close. His breathing slowed. He couldn't go on. He had to let go. To finally let go. 

The last thing he heard was Lydia's screams and broken I love you's.

_"I don't love you, Stiles... I'm sorry."_


	2. Not About Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was her fault. It was entirely her fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot of people wanted a second part.... here it is!
> 
> Expect at least one more to the series, maybe two if I get inspired.

Lydia booked a flight to Beacon Hills as soon as Stiles phone stopped recording. She ignored Jackson when he asked her where she was going. She couldn’t think. All she could feel was this sudden hole in her heart, like she was missing the most important part of herself. She needed to go back, needed to go home. 

Scott called her. She knew what it was about, she knew he would be crying on the other end. Knowing she couldn’t bear it, knowing she wouldn’t be able to move if she heard him crying too, Lydia ignored it. After her phone stopped ringing she picked it up and sent a two worded text message. 

_I know_

It was simple enough, got the point across, and they’d have to be stupid if they thought she wasn’t coming home. Lydia shut her phone off and threw it into the bottom of her person. She didn’t need to hear her friends calling her, to check on her, to make sure she was alright. Because she wasn’t. And she never would be again. 

The plane ride was silent, music playing in her ears the entire time. Nobody bothered her, seeming to sense that she needed to be alone. Alone to her thoughts and guilt. 

It was her fault. She knew it. However Stiles died, it was truly her fault. If Lydia had only… If Lydia had stayed. If she had just for once let herself fall in love, Stiles would still be alive. And Lydia wouldn’t be feeling an emptiness that would never quite be filled. 

After she left the baggage claim, she found Scott in the waiting area. Jackson must have told him what time her plane was arriving because there was no way he was at the airport at three in the morning for kicks. 

Lydia ran into his arms, throwing her self completely into him. Scott caught her in his arms, pressing his face into her neck. Lydia didn’t bother to hold back the sobbing tears. People stared at them, but neither cared. They only took comfort in each other, tears flowing from both of them.

"I felt it." Lydia cried into Scott’s chest. "I felt it and I couldn’t stop it. Something was just ripped from my chest and I felt his pain. Scott, I felt him die!" 

Scott clutched her tighter, his lips pressing against her temple. “It’s not your fault.”

"But it is!" Lydia insisted, the sob breaking her voice. "I-I could have, I could have stayed. If I just -" 

"Lydia, please, stop blaming yourself." Scott begged in her ear. He shook against her, barely able to keep himself together. She shook her head, digging her hands into his shirt, grabbing it to anchor herself. She couldn’t stop. Because it was her fault. It was always going to be her fault. 

Scott moved Lydia against him so he would be able to lead her to his vehicle. His arm was wrapped tightly around her shoulder, refusing to let her go. 

"I should have kept him safe. It’s as much my fault as it is yours." Scott explained through his own silent tears. 

But it wasn’t. Scott wasn’t the one who left Stiles broken. He wasn’t the one who abandoned Stiles just because he was afraid of love. Lydia was the one who did that. Lydia left him. Lydia abandoned him. Lydia  _broke_  him. And all because she couldn’t handle love. Because she was terrified of what loving Stiles would do. How could she do that to him? Leave him, leave the love of her life because she was scared. Everybody is scared. Everybody doesn’t want to love, so what right did she have to leave. 

Scott helped her into the passenger seat of his car, only letting go of her to go to the drivers side. He gripped her hand tightly as he drove and explained what had exactly happened.

Car crash. Stiles moved through a red light and had gotten T-boned. He didn’t die instantaneously. 

The thought made Lydia cringe. He was in pain before he died. That was the last thing she wanted to have happened to him. It seemed unfair for someone so perfect, someone so loved to have died so painfully. The small comfort was that it was a possibility Stiles had heard her message, maybe he had heard that she loved him. The fact that she admitted it before his death didn’t mean much. She was still a coward and that would never change. 


	3. Some Die Young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia visits Stiles' grave to ask him an important question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is from the song Some Die Young by Laleh (But I listened to the cover by Gavin Mikhail cause he is my lord and savior)

Every Sunday, Scott and Lydia drove to the cemetery to see the loves of their lives. They would kiss each other softly before splitting their separate ways to talk to their loved ones. They never asked each other what they talked to the graves about but they didn’t need to. They knew what they would talk about today. 

"I’m back, again." Lydia mumbled. She looked down at the ring on her finger, fiddling with it. Two years ago she came to Stiles’ grave and told him about Scott proposing to her. And how she accepted. Five years ago, Scott asked her out. And six years ago Lydia lost Stiles. 

"Things have been going really well. The new house is coming together really well. Scott is letting me do the decorating. I think he knows it’s because I would kill him if he didn’t." Lydia laughed quietly, her humor falling flat. She stared at Stiles head stone, the words  _Sarcasm was his defense_  carved into the stone. Her head reached out to press against it. Sometimes if she focused she could feel Stiles’ hands pressed against her back. If she focused she would be able to communicate with him. 

"I… I have something to ask you." Lydia stuttered, tears spurring in her eyes. Her heart was beating rapidly. She knew Stiles didn’t mind Scott and Lydia being together, She got so worried he would hate it that she sat at his grave for hours one day trying to hear something. It took a long time but eventually she heard Stiles sweet voice telling her it was okay and that he loved them both. And that Allison was happy too. Lydia sucked in a deep breath. "And it’s a real question I need answered."

The air changed around her and it was almost as if she could feel his presence. It took a lot of effort on his part too for him to communicate with him. He only did it when she needed him to.

She felt something wrap around her and she let out a sob. He was holding her. Did he always hold her when she came to his grave? Her body shook and the hold tightened. Her ears caught something quickly. A quick I love you whispered through the air, inaudible to anyone but her. It made her want to cry more but she couldn’t. She needed to get her question out before the connection severed. 

"Scott and I… we want to have a kid. And… And I need you to say it’s okay. I need to hear you say it. Please." Lydia begged. The connection was already fading, it barely ever lasted long enough for a proper conversation. A few words, sentences if she was straining herself, but nothing more.

_Lyds, I love you so much, and of course it’s okay. I love you and want you to be happy. That means this. I lo-_

"Nonono." Lydia cried. "No, Stiles stay please." 

But he was already gone. Lydia gripped the headstone, crying into it. She wanted him back. She wanted him alive and here and able to hold her close. She wanted him with her but it was never going to happen. He was gone, forever. She would never get him back. 

Scott picked her up in his arms a while later, letting her curl against him. More often than not they left like this when Lydia contacted Stiles. The rest of the day would be spent in bed, Lydia whispering what had happened into Scott’s ear when her crying faded to whimpers. 

Though Scott would curl around her, humming I love yous, Lydia would never forget the way Stiles felt around her and his I love yous. And that was okay because Scott would never forget Allison. 

And it was okay, because sometimes people just die young.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately this is probably the last installment of the series. You may get one more, but it'd probably be very very short. We'll see. Remember to give kudos and subscribe to me for more :D

**Author's Note:**

> *Shoves body through window* Did someone said 5 Seconds Of Summer song Amnesia with ANGST?


End file.
